Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with the thoughts jumping in my head that I become quite quiet. I know, hard to believe, I usually have an opinion on most things.
Lately, since this blog world has opened up to me, I find myself thinking in paragraphs and appropriate pictures. "man I could totally write a blog about that"
It seems my view of life and the world has changed over the years and my thoughts can be very sarcastic, matter of fact, cynical even. I realize if I wrote what I actually thought I would offend just about everyone I know. So it saddens me when I read my blog title "telling it like it is" because I really don't do that anymore.
I mean I really used to!
In some ways that was positive. Friends asked me to go shopping because they knew I would tell the truth about how something looked. In some it was negative, peoples insecurities don't allow them to accept that someone else may have a different view that is uncomfortable for them.
So as I wisely aged, I became more diplomatic and said less about what I really thought, unfortunately going with the flow in allot of cases. Choosing to say nothing.
So here lies my dilemma. When asked the question " are you honest in all your dealings?" the thought of sneaking out of smiths with a melon on the bottom of my cart are not forefront in my mind but rather, Should I have said YES when asked if she looked fat!! Am I therefore being honest?
The fact is, I have very few friends with staying power and with them, Honesty is just a part of me they love, because despite it they know me, and know I would do anything for them, I have a heart wide open with compassion and never judge (unless it's about there hair and clothes , which lets face it, the world could use more honesty in) However, mostly I have associates who regularly call me with there needs and rarely have a clue I might be hurting for something myself. These same people are not ready to hear what deeply thought out, or quickly decided views I have. So I wonder, is it best to be true and keep my friends close? or live on tip toes, hoping for a large funeral and have a multitude of leeches in my life?
I know it's a no brain er.
So my next step would be to move where nobody knows me:) What I did that once already!
That is some serious food for thought, Natalie. And sometimes, some hard choices. I'd never walk out with the melon, but I often keep my mouth shut... so where does that leave me?
ReplyDeleteAwesome post.
I am an excruciatingly direct person (just ask marianne!), but still have found that little white lies make life easier for a lot of other people around me. Or is it tact? Or is it just lying? I don't know! I think heavenly father gave us an inner censor for a reason. he doesn't say, "Hi tami, nice to hear from you are you ever going to get your act together?" I figure if it is life-altering or life-saving be brutally honest. Otherwise, try to be kind. Now, I have no problem telling my kids how I am going to chop them up into little pieces and grind them up in the garbage disposal, but that is just a little white lie! Or is it? Hmm. Natalie, you can be as cynical as you want on here!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are awesome ! You have to know I'm an outward, happy person to be around. I just wish I could blame asbergers syndrome for my lack of filter sometimes :)
ReplyDeleteI admit that's a dilemma I'm a little jealous of! I am a squishy soft banana of a person when someone asks my opinion, seriously. Maybe I hate the outfit, but I'll point out every tiny thing I like about it. Maybe I don't agree with a choice you made, but I'll admire your conviction and recognize your reasons for doing it.
ReplyDeleteI do have real friends, but I also have plenty of people who I like things about them but do not want to BE like them. Feels like living a little white lie (little white life?)! :) It must boil down to just being yourself, whoever you are, because trying to change it ultimately results in nothing but a different dilemma. How interesting.